Almost There. Guaranteed to cure your insomnia. Or your money back.
A typical satisfied customer. She never gets past the first page.
Okay, so the crack about curing your insomnia was a bit of an exaggeration, but at least it got your attention, didn’t it? Now comes the tricky part– coming up with something that’ll get you to give my wannabe conspiracy thriller a try. Sure, I could hype it up in true publishing style and say it’s “a slow-burning page-turner you simply
can’t put down” replete with a cast of “raw, gritty, and absorbing characters” and “a complex and mystifying plot that will grip you like a vice” but I doubt you’d believe me. So I’ll stick to the plain facts. After a slow start, Almost There eventually delivers what you’d expect from this sort of thing: a bit of mystery, a bit of suspense, a
shadowy secret society prepared to go to any lengths to preserve its shadowy secrets, and just the right amount of intrigue, betrayal and death. All served up with a dash of schoolboy humour. Trouble is, I’m still not sure that’ll be enough to drag you away from the delights of Fifty Shades of Da Vinci. Time to try a different tack:
Your chance to be the coolest person on the planet.
While I’m the first to admit my humble offering is unlikely to get to the top of the international best-seller lists anytime soon, imagine if it did, and you were one of the lucky few who’d been there right from the start. Your kudos rating would go off the scale! I can just picture you in a year or two’s time at some groovy party, surrounded by a bunch of wide-eyed admirers hanging onto your every word:
“Yes, I suppose I’m glad the thing finally got the recognition it deserved, but I do miss those heady days when hardly anyone had even heard of Almost There.” You pause, sigh wistfully, then continue: “Back then the book had a sort of mystique around it, a cult status, and the few of us who knew about it really believed we were part of something special. It was as if we’d created our own underground scene no-one else knew
about. It couldn’t last of course—these things never do—but I'm so glad I was there...”
No? Still not convinced? Thought not. Oh well, I suppose it’s back to the drawing board. And while I’m busy trying to come up with some clever marketing guff that will convince you, why not give Almost There a quick once over? It’s free, so let’s face it, you’ve got nothing to lose. Except, of course, your insomnia.